Desire
What does the word bring up for you? Does it contain elements of selfishness? Or primal instinctual tendencies to be overcome by the rational mind?
Your heart’s desire
What does heart’s desire connotate for you? Does it bring expansion or constriction? Do you feel empowered to explore your heart’s desire, or do you feel an immediate shutting of the blinds? I used to believe desire and heart’s desire included primal, selfish tendencies to be overcome. Desire seemed to lead to sin, separation, and sole gain for another’s loss. As I have explored more of my own mind and heart, and found teachers doing the same, another perspective has emerged. Following heart’s desire is described by Bob Proctor and Mary Morrissey (perhaps many others) as aligning with your higher self so that the divine my reach higher levels of consciousness. Images of a DNA strand unfolding and taking one “higher” towards divinity. For me, I feel a sense of sacred feminine descension into the seat of the soul, the seed from which all else grows. I have begun to wonder and experiment with the thought: What if heart’s desire is an internal message helping me to live out my purpose? What if following heart’s desire leads to expansion and fuller expression? ….which brings fulfillment, connection, and sharing. Essentially the opposite of how I had perceived desire even 3 years ago.
When I was extremely unhappy with my life and had first been working with my therapist, he asked, “What do you want?” My answer was, “no”….. “I can’t go there, I can’t have what I want.” Because it would mean disappointing other people. And being selfish. And not being consciousness or considerate of others’ dreams and goals for themselves -and especially – the part I needed to play for them to live out their dreams. This is a clear co-dependency and people pleasing problem…yet, it took extreme (and ongoing) dedicated effort to change my perception of desire. “What do you want” is a sacred question. Filling our cup so others may drink from the overflow is far more sustainable and fruitful than continuing to live on empty, and give any bit of nourishment away. Easy to say, difficult to live by.
I faced so much internal resistance to change…and after just 2 years of courageously asking what I want and step-by-step moving in that direction, I have energy and love to give to those around me. I appreciate the exquisite conscious experience…and remember our time is short and must be savored. I take responsibility for my body and mind, that are first in my charge to take care of. I send peace daily to those I hurt along the way.
Let the question of what you want be sacred. Let it be a conduit for your heart and rational mind to communicate.
Pause and let in. What do you want? What do you really want? What would you love in your life?
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