Healing in Relationship

I learned early on—from the quiet chairs of therapy offices and the well-meaning pages of self-help books—that I needed to "do my own work."

That before entering a relationship, a new job, a fresh chapter… I had to be healed.

But life has a funny way of showing us that the rules we internalize aren’t always the truth.

Relationships shift constantly. Jobs evolve. Friendships dissolve or deepen.

Entire chapters of our lives transform while we’re still mid-sentence. And the idea that we should only engage with others after we’ve reached a certain level of wholeness? That belief, I’m realizing, is not only outdated—it’s deeply incomplete.

We are relational beings.

We become through each other.

For a long time, “dependence” was synonymous with codependence, with dysfunction, with not being able to stand on your own two feet. But there’s another way to look at it—one that feels much more true to the human experience.

Interdependence.

Interdependence honors that we are shaped in connection. That we can be strong and vulnerable at once. That healing doesn’t always look like stepping away—it can look like leaning in, with the right orientation.

Because here’s the thing: we don’t have to be fully healed to love or to grow.We just have to be willing to orient toward truth.

To acknowledge the patterns we’ve inherited.To pause when we feel the urge to self-abandon.To get curious instead of reactive.To choose compassion over control.

When we do this, we start finding ourselves in circumstances—and with people—who become part of our healing journey.

• People who don’t complete us, but who mirror what’s been waiting to be seen and integrated.

• Jobs that don't fix us, but offer opportunities to rewrite our sense of value.

• Relationships that don’t rescue us, but invite us into our own expansion.

We heal in partnership.In connection.In community.

If you’re exploring this idea or sitting in the space between relationships, jobs, or versions of yourself, trust yourself to take the leap. Be open to healing in real time - messy, with another.

And if this resonates—send it to a friend who might need to hear that they don’t have to be “done” to be loved. That showing up as they are is enough.