There are many ways our inner self calls us to wake up. Sometimes, the wake up call can feel like a tornado of confusing dissonance (typically when we have been avoiding the small whispers) or a gentle song, calling us to explore deeper to find out what’s making that beautiful sound.
I certainly ignored the whispers and songs of my inner voice to force it into a yell. After finally learning to respond to my inner voice (why so loud!), I am better at hearing the subtle messages. This last week, the song was stunning. I had the privilege of being surrounded by creative people and family. The creative people came from celebrating Warhol’s 30th anniversary by putting on a Kaws/Warhol special exhibit, where family also gathered to celebrate my boyfriend’s dad’s 70th birthday. The buzz of exploring both the dark and joyous sides of life in the exhibit created an atmosphere to connect with people beyond the small talk.
Then 2 very special moments happened for me. I got a text from my brother about a very real dream he had of talking to and hugging our dad, who passed in January. This gave a hint of connection beyond death. Then, we got to celebrate a surprise, unexpected, yet very desired pregnancy in the family. The reminder of new life. This sweet soft song of my inner self spoke of wholeness. Connection beyond what we understand. New life and opportunity sprouting and creating joy. For those who hear your inner whisper and song, you know it is beyond words.
Yet - If I had to choose words, they would be “remember” (as always) and “SAVOR.”
I hear these words and long for my dad. Our last conversation when he was in the hospital, just after undergoing T cell therapy and before his neurotoxicity set in, he asked me with an inviting smile, “well Steph, what do you want to talk to me about?” My throat closed up and tears stormed down my cheeks. I wasn’t prepared for this to be our last conversation even though he was.
“I want to talk to you about joy.”
He said, “well, that’s difficult for me right now. Because to have joy is to have life.” He lived so big and as true to himself as any person I know. He still wanted more. I heard a comedian once say he lost his mom at 100+ years old, and even though she lived as long and as healthy as anyone can expect, it still wasn’t long enough.
The point here isn’t about it not being enough. It is about remembering that we are alive right now, today. We can step into the joy of being alive at any time, in any circumstance. My dad’s final gift to me was this reminder, that I have life and I can choose joy. And that I can share that message with fellow seekers as we all benefit from reminders to savor that we have life right now.
What is your inner self calling you to savor right now?
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