What does self-care mean?
In today's world, self-care feels like it is an excuse to finally give yourself some love after taking care of everyone else.
But you're so tired and drained that taking care of yourself requires a massive dopamine hit to feel good. The feeling of finally being able to address your own needs ends up looking like:
Having a few drinks after a long day
Letting yourself off the hook on cooking and eating your favorite greasy food
Zoning out on your social media feed
Crashing on the couch with your favorite drama
Treating yourself to some new clothes
And why not? You have been taking care of others all this time and you deserve it.
This idea of self-care isn't wrong but it's incomplete. There is a sickly sweet martyrdom involved in doing everything that needs to be done before you attend to yourself. Instead, self-care is recognizing the sacredness of getting to care for your own body, emotions, mind, and spirit. It is having reverence for consciousness is expressing itself through you. The opportunity to deeply care for and love others is given first to you - to give to yourself.
Self-care is acknowledging that you are willing and deserving of putting time and effort into the ONE you have been given responsibility for - yourself. The sacredness of it shifts from giving yourself only tiny gifts after depleting yourself for others - to really changing your mind about how much you're willing to take responsibility for your well-being.
So here is the shift - you don't wait until you're drained and exhausted to address your needs. You trust it is right and good to address your needs first.
Nischala Joy Devi beautifully writes in "The Secret Power of Yoga,"
When we refuse to take time to treat our bodies, emotions, and minds with reverence and love, they will often remind us - not so kindly - by failing to respond when we need them. Our ability to think clearly recedes. We may experience sadness or depression....
Listen to the wisdom of your own physical heart. A mighty pump, it selflessly distributes blood throughout the body during your entire life. The heart itself first consumes the fresh oxygenated blood coming from the lungs. The heart is intuitive enough to know it must take care of itself so it then has the fortitude to pump the blood out to oxygenate the rest of the body.
P.S. For those lifelong learners, here is a super fun video about the heart pumping blood to itself first. It takes approximately the first 5% of oxygenated blood for itself then pumps to the rest throughout the body.
What does your first 5% of caring for yourself look like?
After all, you are the ONE you will spend the rest of your life with. Why not say I DO and commit to a healthy, nourishing relationship with yourself.
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